This is me challenge: part 5

Celebrations:
*What are some of your personal and family traditions for each holiday?  (New Years, Memorial Day, Independence Day, Easter, Passover, Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, etc.)

Well, as we are now on our own, (i.e. no family nearby, just the three of us) we are developing new traditions as each year goes by. 

New Years has always been celebrated at home with family. In the past, I have been the only one awake as the ball drops.  In Florida, we would light sparklers and firecrackers in the front yard, then go inside to watch the programming. At midnight, people would shoot guns (highly dangerous), and we would avoid windows waiting for the gunfire to cease. Since becoming a nurse, I have worked every New Year's Eve, except last year. I will be working this year. 

Independence Day is for cooking out, and my son and I go watch fireworks. (Fireworks always make me cry, for some reason.) 

Easter is spent with family. But I want to change that tradition, and go to church.

Thanksgiving used to be spent going between all our families' homes, and stuffing ourselves like crazy (because you can't eat a little bit without insulting the hosts). Last year we went to the movies and Cracker Barrel. This year we spent it with our neighbors.  I made all the sides and they made the turkey.  Next year I will be working. 

Christmas has changed a lot for us. In Miami, we would spend Christmas Eve with Willie's relatives (they celebrate La Noche Buena), then spend Christmas morning with my family. Christmases were always spent at my grandmother's home. We always had lasagna.

It is our tradition to decorate the Christmas tree on the weekend nearest my son's birthday. While David prefers a real tree, I prefer the artificial variety.  Sure real trees smell awesome, but I get so sad throwing away a tree every year. So, large green toilet brush it is. :)  Decorations come down on the weekend after New Year's Day. 

Last year was our first Christmas on our own.  And of course, I worked the 24th, 25th and 26th. This year, I am off.  I will be making lasagna for 12/24. We will watch holiday movies, and spend it together. On Christmas morning I will make breakfast, and then we will go serve dinner at the Rescue Mission. Then home to watch the Doctor Who Christmas special. :)

*How do you celebrate adult's birthdays?

Dinner out and a homemade cake.


*How do you celebrate children's birthdays?

Dinner out and a homemade cake. (It is hard being born two weeks before Christmas. And David is not much of a party person.)

*How do you celebrate your anniversary?'

We used to go away for our anniversary (usually Disney World). This year, hubby rented a hotel room half a mile from home and we went out to dinner and spent a night just the two of us. It was nice.  My dream anniversary would be a trip to Ireland and a gift of a claddagh ring.

Home life:
*Describe the places you've lived.
 So many places... Well, Miami when I was very small was very different than it is today.  Miami in the early 70's was resort-y, and still Southern in a lot of ways. Now, it is extremely diverse, which is good and bad.  Good in that people get exposed to many different cultures and could use this exposure to learn tolerance and acceptance. Bad, because often the diversity serves to create more barriers between people (race, sexuality, language, cultural beliefs, etc). 

When I was really small we lived in my grandmother's house.  From there we lived in several places ( at least three that I can remember...this was all before the age of 5), until we moved to North Carolina.

Wilmington, North Carolina... it was a trailer on the beach.  I don't remember a lot about this time, except that I developed a huge crush on a drummer in a local band. The band played a lot of Beatles tunes, and I fell in love with "Penny Lane." I also remember seeing snow on the beach, which I remember thinking was so strange. 

Wilson, North Carolina.... think oak-lined streets, old houses, brick buildings.  We lived on the corner of Park Avenue and Kenan Street, in a huge old house that was converted into apartments. 

Obviously, it was not boarded up while we lived there.  The front door led into a foyer with stairs going up on the left. The windows on the second floor to the right belonged to my mother's best friend, Macon who was from Virginia. The attic apartment belonged to a guy named Bruce, who was awesome and had those clicker-clacker things.  Our apartment was the one on the lower left.  Being a converted house, the apartment was laid out in a weird way... kind of like a long row of rooms connected by doorways. From the living room, the next room was my parents' room, then the bathroom and then the eat-in kitchen.  My room was a little room that was just sort of stuck onto the back of the house, and when we first moved it was sealed shut.  There was a small screened in patio off the kitchen. There were fireplaces in the first two rooms. My room was always cold. We lived here for two years. 
photos borrowed from workingthejob 

Then we got a brand new trailer in Macclesfield, NC.  (A very, very tiny town.) The trailer backed up to a plot of farmland that had rotating crops, from corn to potatoes. This is a pretty good, though modern, representation of it.

Next to our trailer was a ditch, that my best friend and I would get into a just get covered with mud, and then spray each other with the water hose. 

From here we moved into my father's mother's (Lucy) house. I hated that house, and that woman. I had severe night terrors and walked and talked in my sleep while we lived there. Lucy was a mean, hateful drunk. This was the point at which my parents' marriage fell apart. My mother moved us into an apartment of our own on Elm Street.  I don't remember much about the apartment, except that it was an upstairs unit, it had wood paneling, and that there was a hair salon next door where I loved to hang out. All other memories I had of that time were not good.

Then we moved back to Miami, to live with my aunt.  At the time, my aunt was married to a paranoid, schizophrenic, cocaine addict. He would go off drug fueled crazy times, and we would have to run off in the middle of the night to stay in hotels. (CrAZY!!!!)

We moved several more times after that (11 times that I can remember).  I did not have a stable home life until I moved out on my own.  My first apartment was an over-the-garage in-laws apartment on Miami Beach. This is the main house:

The rent was only $400, and included lights and water. It was within walking distance to the beach, and this was before South Beach was SOUTH BEACH.  Lincoln Road was quiet, and usually pretty deserted. My apartment was a one bedroom, one bath. It had a little eat-in kitchen, and small storage room. I loved this little place. It was close enough to walk to everything, including my job, the grocery, the laundry...It was where I lived when I met my husband, and it was here that I had my wedding reception. I lived there for three years, until we moved off the beach to another apartment.

We lived in the first apartment at the top of the stairs pictured. We moved in October 1993. We moved out August 1997 (days after Princess Diana died). It was a large one bedroom apartment.  It had seven (7!!!!) closets.  We loved that apartment.  The rent was around $700. This was where we lived when I became pregnant with David.  We had my baby shower right under that canopy by the pool. Willie decided that we needed to have a house... that paying rent was a waste of time.  So.....

We bought a house.... where we lived for 13 years. Until we lost it due to foreclosure. Which sucks. 

Now we live in Lexington, KY, in an apartment.  In all honesty, I prefer apartment living. I hated yard upkeep. I like the convenience of just calling the landlord when something breaks. Perhaps one day we will consider purchasing, again... but, I doubt it.

*What was your favorite house or apartment?  Why?

My first little apartment on my own.

*How do you like to decorate?

I like lots of color against white.  However, that is not what I have.  I have beige and dark woods. :(

*What is it about home that you love?

My son.  But, I really like having alone time. 

*How has your standard of life changed through the years?

Well, it has gone up and down. For a while it was really good. But, my husband has never been great with keeping jobs, and the year I became a nurse was the year he stopped being an electrician (2007). He has not had a full time job since.... now, he is in paramedic school, which he should complete in the next three months. At that point he needs to find a full time job, or we will be renegotiating our contract....

Right now... we get by. And that's about it. If we were still living in Miami, we would not be able to make it, at all.

♫Sing along Saturday♫ (Christmas Edition)

This is an old video, hence the poor quality, but it is one of my very favorite Christmas songs. Plus it's Sting.... what's not to like about that.  The first "Very Special Christmas" album is one of many I play every year.

After years and years of forced commercialism, and losing what Christmas is really about, I am really looking forward to Christmas this year.

Financial issues have forced us to give fewer gifts to our son, about which, at first, I felt really guilty. I wrapped his three little packages, and placed them under the tree, and said to myself, "It's beginning to look a little like Christmas." :(  And, I really wanted to figure out  how to add more presents.  But, the more I thought about it... the more I was ok with it. And, David is not a little kid anymore. He is 16, and he needs to learn what Christmas means, and it ain't presents.....(we have done Toys for Tots many years, and we donate food to food banks all the time, but our holidays always ended up being the same every year... go to people's houses and get food and presents and then watch tv until it was time to move on.)




So, this year with me being off work, and it just being the three of us.... We are finally going to do one of  the things I have wanted to do for the holidays for years and years..... We are volunteering at the local Rescue Mission, and serving dinner.  I am so excited for this. My son, less so, but I feel it will be an invaluable experience for him, and maybe teach him to be grateful for all that he does have, even if it is not as much as his friends.

W. :)

This is me challenge: part 4

Marriage:
*How did you meet your spouse?  Was it love at first sight or did it take some time?
I met my husband, William, while working at Dr. Slavin's office. He came in to work as a medical assistant intern, and I was the receptionist.  He had called to get directions before coming in, and I, being a horrible direction giver, directed him in the exact opposite direction from where he needed to go.

When we met, there was an immediate attraction on both our parts, but I would not call it love. Willie was exactly the opposite of anyone I had ever been attracted to. He was dark, hairy and Hispanic, not very into culture, music or dancing, and probably, most importantly, not gay.

We met on July 8, 1991. We started dating on August 8, 1991.  Our first date was dinner at Fuddruckers and going to the Improv comedy club. Bobby Slayton performed.

*How long did you date before you got engaged?  How long was your engagement?

We had talked about marriage a lot after dating for about 6 months. Willie asked me to marry him on May 16, 1992. We married on August 14, 1992. We eloped and got married at the Miami Beach courthouse.  After our little ceremony, we visited some friends and went to dinner at a Chinese restaurant and to the movies. Our church wedding was actually on our first anniversary.

*How did you get engaged?  (The story.)

I graduated from Navy bootcamp on May 16, 1992.  Willie and I had dinner at the Olive Garden with my family. After dinner, we went back to his hotel (Days Inn), and "reunited." As we lay basking in the afterglow, the most romantic words ever spoken dropped from his lips:  "So, do you want to get married or what?" 

I can't wait to tell my grandkids that story.

*Who did most of the wedding plans?  Who helped?

I did all of the wedding planning. We had a very limited budget, and did everything ourselves. 

*Who were your bridesmaids/best men? 

Bridesmaids: Lisa Smith, Dorothy Mayse and Maria Marrero (Willie's sister)

Groomsmen: Joseph Dowling (My cousin), and Christopher Morris (My best friend, who also walked me down the aisle)

*Describe the details of your wedding:  the colors, the cake, the decorations, etc.Where did your wedding take place?  Who performed the ceremony?

Our wedding took place on August 14, 1993, at the MacArthur Memorial Chapel in Miami Shores, Florida.  My dress was ivory. My bridesmaids wore peach colored gowns. Willie and the guys wore morning suits. My bouquet was osiana roses and stephanotis. The bridesmaids carried tiger lilies. 

The wedding was small. The pastor who married us was sick and had to frequently wipe his nose. Dorothy brought her year and a half year old son with her (after I specifically asked her not to), and he started screaming as soon as he saw her and he did not stop until my boss asked his father to remove him from the church.

Our reception was held in the backyard of my landlords.  The food was set up buffet style in the screened in patio. We set up a canopy with tables and chairs on the lawn. The decorations were crepe streamers, balloons and tissue paper bells. The favors were plastic swans with jordan almonds. 

Our cake was a three layer buttercream cake from the Publix bakery.  I made the topper with a statue I had purchased. My mother-in-law made the boutonnieres, and provided the napkins. 

*Who attended your wedding?

We had about 60 guests.  We had only wanted to invite friends and family, but my grandmother insisted I invite every person I worked with. 

*Where did you go on your honeymoon?  What adventures did you have?

We went to Universal Studios for our honeymoon. We stayed at the Ramada Inn Resort. We had a great time. 


Children:
*Give your children's full names, birth dates and places.

We have one son.  His name is David Angel.  He was born on December 11, 1996, in Aventura, Florida.  

*How did you choose their names?

Well, if the baby were a girl, the name would have been Gabrielle (after the angel Gabriel) Rachel.  David was named after my husband's two best friends.  He got each of their middle names. 

*What were the circumstances of each child's birth?

I did not find out I was pregnant with David until I was 24 weeks along (long story). I had a very short, pleasant pregnancy. The due date I was given was December 8. I was having frequent contractions, but no pain. I went to the OB for my weekly appointment, and the decision was made that I would be induced the following day. The doctor arranged for me to deliver at Aventura Hospital, as I was originally planning to deliver at North Shore Hospital.   I had hoped for a completely natural birth. 

I went in to the hospital that evening. My husband helped the nurses start an IV (I have terrible veins.) and I was hooked up to the monitor. In the morning, the pitocin was started, and the contractions started right away.  They were strong, but tolerable. At 2 pm, the doctor broke my water, and the pains got so bad...... I had to ask for something for the pain.  They gave me Stadol in my IV, and I was out like a light. I would wake up during the contractions (I had terrible back labor), and then fall right back to sleep.  I remember at one point, when a particularly bad contraction hit, and I could not get Willie's attention, because he was watching "Baywatch."

Finally at 4, they checked me and said it was time to push.....I said, "I guess it's too late for that epidural now." I was so out of it, I couldn't figure out why my doctor was putting on gowns and hats and stuff. She said, "I'm here to deliver your baby." Oh, ok (zzzzzzz). 

I pushed and pushed and pushed......finally, they had to get the vacuum extractor, and two nurses had to help push the baby out. David came into the world at 6:36 pm. He weighed 9 pounds 1 ounce. He was born on a Wednesday. 

*What are some funny things that each child does/did or says/said?

My son is extremely funny.... it would be impossible to pick just one thing about him. He is also very easy going, and willing to be my PIC (partner in crime). One of my favorite moments was a couple of Halloweens ago, we came across a banana costume in Target.  Of course I made him put it on, and he was so awesome, he immediately started doing the PB&J dance!  

*What do you love most about each child?  What are their strengths and weaknesses?

As, I only have the one.... I love that David shares my sense of adventure and love of travel. I love his creativity. I love his sense of humor. I love his love for me. 

His strengths are his strong moral compass and his sense of humor. His weaknesses are his lack of empathy and his unwillingness to see the importance of education.

*What are your children involved in?

David is involved in a video game club at school. Other than school, he draws, paints, does graphic design work on the computer. 

*How do you spend your time with your children?

Our favorite thing to do together is travel, even if it is just driving along a road we've never taken and seeing where it goes.  We also like to go hiking together, or even just walking. Just being together, and talking.  He is great company.

This is me challenge: part 2

Growing up, early years: 

*Where did you grow up?  Describe it.

My very early childhood, we lived in my grandmother's house. I don't remember much about the house, except that it had a pool. I would spend a lot of time in the pool with my aunt, Gloria (Glo). 

After my father and mother married, we lived in a duplex in North Miami.  I remember holding the football so Eddie could kick it. From there we moved to a motel on Biscayne Blvd.  I remember this motel had a pool, and I would jump into it without knowing how to swim.  I nearly drowned so often, I had to wear a life jacket all the time near the pool.

When I was in first grade, we moved to Wilson, North Carolina. It was very different from Miami.  Very small town. We lived in a big old house that had been converted to 5 apartments. Ours was downstairs.  The apartment was set up like a long rectangle.  From the living room, you'd have to pass through the master bedroom to get to the one and only bathroom and then to the kitchen. It had a screened in pack porch. I remember washing my Barbie clothes and hanging them on the clothesline during the winter, and them being frozen solid. 

Also while living there, one Easter I got a bunny as a present. It was black and white, and I named him Thumper.  Thumper had to live on the back porch. One day my mother told me to let Thumper out so he could exercise, and wouldn't you know that rabbit hopped away as fast as possible, and I never saw him again! 

*What was your earliest memory?

My earliest memory is sitting in the shopping cart while my mother did groceries. I vividly remember swinging my legs. I had on Dr. Scholls sandals. Mine were red.  And I was wearing courdoroy pants.  My sandals kept flipping off my feet, and I remember my mother getting mad, and throwing the sandals into the shopping cart. We were in the dairy aisle. 

*What games did you play as a child?

I don't remember playing games as much as I remember playing with Barbies.  I also loved playing with my Easy Bake Oven, Sew Perfect sewing machine and my Knit Magic!  I was kind of a loner kid, even back then. 

*Where did you go to school?

I moved schools a lot.  I went to Bethany Covenant (FL)  for Kindergarten, Gratigny (FL), Adams (NC), Margaret Hearne (NC), Macklesfield (NC), Ojus (FL), William Jennings Bryant (FL) and Sabal Palm (FL) elementary schools. 

*Who were your friends?

My best friend as a child was Wendy O'Dwyer.  She lived in Wilson, NC.  Her mother, Linda,  was a nurse. Her father was also named Eddie. He rode a motorcycle. She had a brother named Robbie. 

*Who were your favorite teachers and why?

In kindergarten, I loved my teacher Ms. Ethel.  She was an elderly woman.  I used to go spend the night at her house.  Other than her, I do not recall having a favorite teacher until high school.

*What were your chores? 

Never had chores at this time. 

Growing up, teenage years:


*What activities did you participate in?  (Sports, dancing, music, arts, etc.)  Explain what you did with each activity.  

Did not participate in extra-curricular activities.  However, I did volunteer as a candy-striper at Mount Sinai Hospital.

*How did you learn how to drive?  What kind of car did you have?

Well, I took driver's ed in high school.  We used to go off campus for lunch, and one day while we heading to lunch in a friend's car, we got crashed into by a tourist.  It made me very nervous about driving. So, I did not get my license until I was 19, and I had to get it before I moved to Sweden.  I did not have a car of my own. I like to say my car was the metro-limousine. (BUS)

*Who were your friends?  

I had a little group of friends... Dorothy Mayse and Lisa Smith were the two main-stays.  There were others that came and went...Ellen Bregman and Katie Martin. My best guy friend was Cyril Cohen.

*Did you have a girl/boy friend?  Talk about him/her (if your spouse is okay with it!).

I did not date much in high school. I had "boy friends," but no one I would call a boyfriend. 

*What did you like/dislike about school?

I sometimes feel like I went to a school out of a John Hughes movie.  It was very clique-ish. The hardest was getting picked on about my clothes. We did not have a lot of money, and for the first two years of high school, either my mother bought my clothes or I had to wear hand-me-downs. 

The other part I did not like was that at the time I did not see the point of it. Now, I regret not putting in my best effort. 

I really started liking school in my junior and senior years. I took classes I found interesting, and that was when I started getting better grades. However, if I was not interested in the subject (government and civics...I am look at you), there was no hope for the class. 

*What was your first paid job? 

My first genuine tax-paying job was at Woolworth's. I was 14 years old. My next job was for Burger King. I worked at Burger King for a year during my senior year.  I worked double shifts, opening the store at 6 in the morning, working until 1 or 4 in the afternoon, then coming back at 8 in the evening, and working until close at 1 in the morning. I did this for $3.85 an hour for a year. When it was time for a raise, they gave me a nickle raise. I told them to stick it, and went to work at Winn Dixie.

*What were your chores at home?

I was in charge of laundry.  My mother would drop me off at the laundromat every week with all the clothes while she went to do the groceries. I am still a great laundress. 

This is Me Challenge...

Often my blogging lags because I just don't know about what to write. Sometimes, something will happen, and I think, "Gee, this would be good to write about." But, since I don't always have access to the internet, time goes by, and the topic seems less relevant or less funny or interesting.

So, today on the Pinterests, I found a link to this site:  This Is Me Challenge .  This site uses an LDS (Latter Day Saint) format to record your personal history.  The Mormon church is huge in the genealogy field, and they follow family records for hundreds of thousands families, not only in the church, but outside, as well.

So, for my birthday (next week, 12/18) I thought I would start this challenge. We will start at the beginning, because that's a very good place to start: (I am not including last names, due to the possibility of ID theft, etc.)

Your birth and family:  
*What is your full name and how did you get that name?  Do you have any nicknames?
Wendy Leigh ... My mother had originally planned to name me Michelle Ray (after my birth father, Michael Ray) or Jodi Lynn (cute name). My mother claims that when she saw me, I just looked like a Wendy... plus, the song "Windy" was very popular (a song supposedly about an Australian hooker).

Leigh was after my aunt Gloria Lee.

 My last name at birth was different, but it was changed when I was adopted at the age of four by the only father I ever knew, Eddie.

*What are your parent's full names and birth dates and places?

My mother's name is Cecilia Marie, and she was born in Camp LeJeune, North Carolina. Sept 12, 1950

My birth father is Michael Ray. He was born in Miami, Florida. He was born in 1952.

My mother was 19 when I was born, and my father was only 17. My father was not there for my mother during the pregnancy, and did not come around until I was 5 months old.  At that time my mother told him to take a hike, and was never involved in my life after that.  Not knowing my real father has been an issue for me my whole life. I never pursued trying to find him, feeling that if he did not accept me as an adult would doubly hurt. Through genealogy searches, I believe that he is now deceased. 

*What is the date of your birth?  Where were you born?  What are some of the circumstances (when your mom went in to labor, how long, her doctor, your dad fainting, etc.) of your birth?

I was born on December 18, 1969, at North Miami General Hospital in North Miami, Florida.  (The hospital is now a Johnson and Wales University.)  My mother ate fried chicken, and watched the Tonight Show when she went into labor. Tiny Tim married Miss Vicky on that show. I was born at 8:57 the next morning, by forceps delivery. My mother was sedated for the delivery, which was not uncommon back then. 

*What are your sibling's full names and birth dates? 

I am, technically, an only child. However, my mother did give birth to a baby boy when I was nearly two years old. That baby was given up for adoption. 

*How was your relationship with your siblings and parents?

My relationship with my mother has been tumultuous.  My mother has been an addict of some sort or another my entire life. My entire childhood was shaped by her addictions, from her disappearing for days and leaving me with my father, to having to take on the role of caretaker to her as a teenager.   I love my mother, dearly, but her screwed up life gave me a screwed up life, which I still have to deal with the repercussions of today.

My adoptive father, Eddie, came into our lives when I was about three years old. My mother was working at a convenience store, and Eddie was working as a mechanic at a garage across the street. My mother would take me to work with her, and not realize that I had scampered off on my own to the mechanic shop. So, it was through me that they met. They married when I was four. Their relationship was totally demented. They both were alcoholics, and he was a mean, abusive drunk, but mostly toward my mother. 

At around age 8, my mother had to leave for an extended period to care for my infant cousin, leaving me with Eddie.  During this time, he sexually molested me repeatedly, which I did not tell my mother about until I was nearly 13 years old. Along with this molestation, I was also molested by several other men in North Carolina. These fucked up relationships with men has totally messed up my relationships with men today. 

*What are some lessons you learned from your parents?

Good question. Don't take drugs. Keep your hands to yourself. Treat others as you wish to be treated. Sex is not love, and vice versa. 

*How did you help in your home?  

Well, as a small child, I don't think I did.  I often remember my mother trying to get me to clean up my room. I would shove everything under the bed or in the closet. To fix that, my mother used to put everything on top of my bed, so the only way I could go to bed was to clean it up. 

Is there a 'right" way to die?

A few weeks back I got a call that she was very sick and in the hospital, again.  This was her fifth or sixth hospitalization since I moved to Kentucky, her first being the day I left Miami. This time she had gone in due to out of control edema related to congestive heart failure.  However, once she was in the hospital, she had a sudden drop in all her blood counts, and was in grave condition.  I debated with myself for a day on whether to go to Miami or not, as my funds are limited and I had just traveled down in August.  Do I go for the end, or go to the funeral.... as my aunt was basically going through this whole ordeal alone, I opted for going rather than waiting.

When I arrived to the hospital, my grandmother was awake, and somewhat lucid, but confused. She was eating and drinking some, but not much. But, by the next day she was in a steep decline. She was either asleep or having hallucinations of long dead relatives.We encouraged her to eat anything at all, and basically were yogurt and soup-ing her like crazy.

Then news came back that a nodule was found on her lung, and they wanted to do a PET scan. Now, my grandmother is 82 years old. She is a very bad patient, and any therapies or interventions they would want to do, she would refuse. So, the decision was made by her and my family that it was time for hospice care at home. Really, there was nothing that was being done in the hospital that we could not do for my grandmother  at home. And she would rather be home....

We got her room all set up, and we got her home, and my aunt and I took care of her. My grandmother was now bed-bound and using diapers.... I never thought I would see the day.  We changed her, we fed her, and we did our best to keep her comfortable. Those first days home she was rarely awake and frequently confused or hallucinating.

A week after arriving, I had to return home to Kentucky and my family, which felt like both terrible and a relief. I really wanted to be there to help my aunt and cousin, and to take care of my grandmother, but the stress and exhaustion was relentless.  Plus, I had my family here... and they need me, too. And I am the sole earner in my household.

After I got home, I continued to call my aunt several times a day, to give her advice, encouragement and support. During one call I heard my grandmother say, "I can't even die right," meaning that she was lingering on and did not die within a day or two of being home. By the weekend, she was in decline, again. Then she had several visitors, one of whom was her estranged son, and this really perked her up.

Emotionally, my whole family is on a roller coaster.... each day is up or down, and we don't know how long Grandma will be with us.... during her acute phase we grieved, but then she gets better and we are relieved but wary....then she declines....and we just don't know...

Grandma wants to go....she is tired, tired of being in pain, depressed at the loss of her active life, independence, and dignity. She has had years and years of health problems, and now she is reaching the end, slowly........but short of suicide, there is no way to speed death... it comes when it comes.

I talk to her whenever I call and she is awake.... each time she sounds smaller, more tired...her mind which was always so sharp has gone fuzzy, and the last time we spoke she told me she could not remember her own name....she has lost every pleasure in life that she had, even reading her beloved books, and that is so sad.

As a child I loved my grandmother more than anybody else in my life.  I looked forward to every moment spent with her. I thought she was glamorous, important and she loved me so much.... As an adult, my love for her has not changed, nor hers for me. Every visit to grandma's was like a hug, always warm and welcome.  She always gave me encouragement, and believed in me. I am going to miss her so much......

Finally back among the living.....

After having spent my entire summer writing papers espousing all my views on women in literature and argument writing, I had neither the energy nor the inclination to write more. I did exceedingly well in both classes, and am now two step closer to my BSN. However, I am very glad they are over. I like my own time too much.

So, I am taking a break from school until after Christmas. In the deep dark winter, there won't be much to do outdoors, anyway....so why not use the time for some book learnin'? I am looking forward to the changing of the season.....it has been a hellish summer in Kentucky, with hardly any rain and heat like I have never known before!!!! Cool crisp days will be a welcome relief. I look forward to going to dig all my sweaters out of storage, getting back into my knitting, maybe finally busting out my sewing machine, going hiking, getting my bike up and running.....

Summer is probably my least favorite season. I HATE to be hot and sweaty. I love Spring and Fall, Winter I can tolerate.

I am also looking forward to my kid going back to school. All the togetherness is starting to get to me. Don't get me wrong.... I love my kid, and I love spending time with him. But... I have not had 5 minutes to myself in two months unless I was in the shower. Even when I would stay up REALLY late, he would stay up just as late, or if I insisted he go to bed, he would lay in his room looking to see if he could see the light from the TV shining under his door. I swear if my kid does not start getting a social life soon, we are going to be like that family in 16 Candles that is forcing the kid to go to the dance, and he is yelling, "But, I want to be with you guys!!" My best days will be those on which my kid is in school and my husbeast is at work... and I have the day all to myself. Yay!!!

Off on a new adventure....

Today I register for school. Just taking English 2, but I figure it is a nice easy transition back into scholarly life. I was going to take it online, but instead, I think I will take it in class. I may be crazy. We shall see.

On the homefront....we took our doggie to the groomer for the very first time yesterday. May not seem like a big deal, but she is 11 and has never been before. Here, her coat and nails have gone out of control, and I am tired of vacuuming up enough hair to knit a new dog. She is so cute. I will have to take photos to post.

Also, speaking of follicular alterations..... my son shaved for the first time this weekend. He saved his little mustache but all that hair that was all over his neck and cheeks is gone. So handsome.

Other than that, I had a long conversation on the phone with my mother yesterday, and it helped me to feel better. I guess I am just missing my family a lot. I definitely don't miss Miami, but I miss my peeps, for sure.

Speaking of family....I have been researching my family tree for a few years, and I have gone all the way back to the first generation to come to America on many branches (most of them came over before the year 1700, many were here in the 1500's). I have a few branches that are dead ends currently, because my great-great-grandfather was an orphan, and there are currently no records for him. Also, my fathers side stalls out at my paternal great-grandfather. Interestingly, my father's mother was Gloria Bacon. And on "Finding Your Roots" this past weekend they did the lineages of Kevin Bacon and his wife. I love to play 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon with my son, and wouldn't it be interesting if there only 6 degrees between Kevin Bacon and me?

Speaking of degrees of separation....My degrees of separation between a lot of Hollywood and myself dramatically reduced with the rise to fame of Brett Ratner. He and I went to high school together. While I would not call us friends by any stretch of the imagination, I definitely did know him, and the counts right? So, supposedly, if you believe the covers of the tabloids, he is dating Sandra Bullock. (Whom I love) Who starred in "Speed" and "the Lake House" with Keannu Reeves, with whom I have always wanted to do very bad things with, so it is like we are already dating....

I have been drowning (no pun intended) myself in Titanic programming. I have been interested in Titanic for as long as I can remember. If I ever go to Nova Scotia, I plan to visit the Titanic gravesite there. Also, last time I went to NYC, I stayed at the Hotel Jane in Chelsea, which 100 years ago used to be a kind of retirement home for old mariners. All the rooms are like ship's cabins, with room for only one. Well, anyway....the hotel is where they put up the surviving crew members while the sinking was being investigated. Cool, no? And, if that kind of thing does not float your boat, back before RuPaul was famous, he used to live there. Just sayin'....

Ok, so that was fractured. I must be off to do school stuff and take care of the dreaded groceries.

W. :)