Sunday, November 18, 2012

Flying Fingers!!!

Along with this add: knitting, crochet, sewing, quilting, and all those other hobbies I do while sitting on my butt.

I have been immersed in Christmas Crafting!!!  I am planning a  Very Whovian Holiday for my wee babe (if you consider 6'3" wee).  There is a Dalek Hat, an amigurumi Dalek, an amigurumi 10th Doctor, a Tardis quilt, and whatever else I can manage to finish in the next 3 weeks. I have no photos yet, but they will be coming soon.

I have really enjoyed all my projects. The hat was my first foray into color work, and it came out wonderfully!  The 10th Doctor is smaller than I expected, but still cute and obviously him. The quilt is nearly done, with only the back to be assembled, and the quilting to be done. And, I am going to try to crochet a 9th and 11th Doctor before Christmas.

Looking forward to the New Year when I can actually make something not Who related.

W. :)

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Is there a 'right" way to die?

A few weeks back I got a call that she was very sick and in the hospital, again.  This was her fifth or sixth hospitalization since I moved to Kentucky, her first being the day I left Miami. This time she had gone in due to out of control edema related to congestive heart failure.  However, once she was in the hospital, she had a sudden drop in all her blood counts, and was in grave condition.  I debated with myself for a day on whether to go to Miami or not, as my funds are limited and I had just traveled down in August.  Do I go for the end, or go to the funeral.... as my aunt was basically going through this whole ordeal alone, I opted for going rather than waiting.

When I arrived to the hospital, my grandmother was awake, and somewhat lucid, but confused. She was eating and drinking some, but not much. But, by the next day she was in a steep decline. She was either asleep or having hallucinations of long dead relatives.We encouraged her to eat anything at all, and basically were yogurt and soup-ing her like crazy.

Then news came back that a nodule was found on her lung, and they wanted to do a PET scan. Now, my grandmother is 82 years old. She is a very bad patient, and any therapies or interventions they would want to do, she would refuse. So, the decision was made by her and my family that it was time for hospice care at home. Really, there was nothing that was being done in the hospital that we could not do for my grandmother  at home. And she would rather be home....

We got her room all set up, and we got her home, and my aunt and I took care of her. My grandmother was now bed-bound and using diapers.... I never thought I would see the day.  We changed her, we fed her, and we did our best to keep her comfortable. Those first days home she was rarely awake and frequently confused or hallucinating.

A week after arriving, I had to return home to Kentucky and my family, which felt like both terrible and a relief. I really wanted to be there to help my aunt and cousin, and to take care of my grandmother, but the stress and exhaustion was relentless.  Plus, I had my family here... and they need me, too. And I am the sole earner in my household.

After I got home, I continued to call my aunt several times a day, to give her advice, encouragement and support. During one call I heard my grandmother say, "I can't even die right," meaning that she was lingering on and did not die within a day or two of being home. By the weekend, she was in decline, again. Then she had several visitors, one of whom was her estranged son, and this really perked her up.

Emotionally, my whole family is on a roller coaster.... each day is up or down, and we don't know how long Grandma will be with us.... during her acute phase we grieved, but then she gets better and we are relieved but wary....then she declines....and we just don't know...

Grandma wants to go....she is tired, tired of being in pain, depressed at the loss of her active life, independence, and dignity. She has had years and years of health problems, and now she is reaching the end, slowly........but short of suicide, there is no way to speed death... it comes when it comes.

I talk to her whenever I call and she is awake.... each time she sounds smaller, more tired...her mind which was always so sharp has gone fuzzy, and the last time we spoke she told me she could not remember her own name....she has lost every pleasure in life that she had, even reading her beloved books, and that is so sad.

As a child I loved my grandmother more than anybody else in my life.  I looked forward to every moment spent with her. I thought she was glamorous, important and she loved me so much.... As an adult, my love for her has not changed, nor hers for me. Every visit to grandma's was like a hug, always warm and welcome.  She always gave me encouragement, and believed in me. I am going to miss her so much......

The only good thing about "Magic Mike"....

I could watch this all day long.......

W. :)

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

On being a Blue Girl in a Red State....

Yesterday, I exercised my civic duty and blessed right as a citizen of this great country... I voted. I did this knowing full well that my state would go to Romney, and that while my vote may have been me it was very important to make my voice heard.

My car has been broken for nearly two weeks, so my son and I walked to the polling place. My son is 15, and I wanted him to see how it works, and to see that every vote counts. Plus, it was a gorgeous fall day!

People have stated over and over again that this election was going to be about the jobs and the economy and not about social issues.... For me, personally, this election was totally about social issues.

People seem so quick to point fingers at the President, as if he is personally to blame for all the crap that goes on in their lives. The President, regardless of who it is, can not literally create jobs, that is up to business owners, or if you have the drive and initiative, you create your own business. Or, you get out there and pound the pavement looking for a job, any kind of job. (pride is of no use when you can't put food on your table)...Too many people are willing to stay home and wallow rather than try to make their own lives better.

As for the economy....recovery from this mess is going to take time, regardless of who is in office... and what would really make it easier is if everyone would quit playing party politics and get together to really make some positive changes.  With the House and Senate once again divided, legislation is going to stall, and no real difference is going to be made if they can't get their shit together.

So, here is why I voted, once again, for Barack Obama....

1. I believe that everybody should be free to love and marry whomever they choose.
    It is not for the Government to decide what defines love and marriage and family.

2. I believe that everyone should have access to healthcare.
    While Obamacare (I hate that term) is not perfect by a long shot, it puts in place protections for those with pre-existing conditions, and provides free preventive care, which really is the basis for good health... prevention is a lot cheaper than treatment.

People cry "Socialist," but America is the only industrialized country in the world without a universal healthcare plan.   Sure those socialist countries have high taxes, but they also reap the benefits of those taxes in education, maternity and vacation leave, and health care.

3. I believe that only a woman should have the right to make decisions regarding her own health and reproduction.

4. I believe in equal rights, equal pay and equal opportunity for every person regardless of race, persuasion or religion.

5. I believe that higher taxes should be paid by the very wealthy, and that loopholes should be closed.
It is ridiculous that the middle class carries the full weight of the country on its backs, while some can hide their wealth and pay next to nothing.

6. I believe any person should be allowed to serve their country regardless of their sexual persuasion.

Too much of Republican politics seems to be heading toward religion and morality.  I do not believe it should be up to the Government to dictate what is right and wrong, good or evil. Also... it feels like there was an undercurrent of racism, and a definite feeling of "getting Obama gone" mentality, especially around here (not so much in Miami).  I can not abide by that.  It is stupid that such things are still issues in 2012.

Besides.... I like the President. I think he is a personable and relatable guy.  I like Michelle Obama. I think they make a great couple. I, however, did not like Romney nor Ryan.

For all these reasons and more, I voted for Barack Obama.  I look forward to seeing what can be accomplished these next four years.  It will be wonderful to see him really move forward without a re-election campaign always looming ahead. If only the House and Senate can work together....

Now....back to the commercials for erectile dysfunction!

W. :)

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Out of touch.....

I often feel out of touch with current popular culture...especially at work. I have so little in common with most of my peers at work. I have tried to assimilate, but it is no use.  I even got sucked into reading those stupid 50 Shades of Crap books, and subjecting myself to the horrible "Magic Mike" to try to be "in the loop."

Here's an example. I don't watch any of the programs that are all the rage amongst my co-workers. They are all "Sons of Anarchy," "Revenge," "Walking Dead" and "Revolution." While I am all "Sherlock," "Downton Abbey" and "Doctor Who."

Speaking of my shows...I am convinced that they are all trying to break my heart. Thanks to evil Tumblr, I caught some spoiler messages today that make me want, and not want, for Downton Season 3 to begin!!!! Crushed.... plus my "Call the Midwife" is ending this week. :(

Ah well, I guess I will just continue with my curret is what I love, and I am not interested in violence, vinidictiveness and zombies.

W. :)