Pondering....

As,I peruse the blogosphere, I find myself reading four basic categories of blogs.

1) Positive self-image blogs

Because, I really want to like me as I am. I am not perfect, but I have been made to feel not-good-enough my whole life. Not pretty enough, not smart enough, not talented enough, etc. Oh, yes, let's not forget not skinny enough. Mostly by my own mother, who has fought her own weight and body image demons her whole life, and then passed them on to me.

I know I'll never be skinny. I may never even be a non-plus size person, again. And, I am not throwing in the towel, and saying, "F*ck it! I'm just gonna eat Ben & Jerry's on my sofa for the rest of my life." I just want to be happy in my own skin. I want to feel good, and energetic, and fit. And that requires eating the right food, and moving my butt off the sofa and out into the world.

If I do all that, and I am still a size 20, then that is the size I am meant to be. And, if that makes others uncomfortable, that is their problem.

2) Young, quirky and talented people who dress exactly how they wish!!!

Oh, I wish I had their gumption when I was their ages. I was such a lover of vintage fashion and self made clothes. But, I was unfortunate enough to go to a high school just like the one in "Pretty In Pink." Let me tell you nothing will beat you down like the scathing comments of one's peers. The need to conform, to belong, to fit in, can outweigh the need to express oneself creatively.

Now, I want to find that person inside myself, again.

My son is a very creative and talented person. And I try to always encourage him to be himself. (Even if I wish he would dress like Jake Ryan instead of Scott Pilgrim.)

How can one reach the age of 42, and still not be who they feel they are?

W. :)