Saturday, December 15, 2012

This is Me Challenge...

Often my blogging lags because I just don't know about what to write. Sometimes, something will happen, and I think, "Gee, this would be good to write about." But, since I don't always have access to the internet, time goes by, and the topic seems less relevant or less funny or interesting.

So, today on the Pinterests, I found a link to this site:  This Is Me Challenge .  This site uses an LDS (Latter Day Saint) format to record your personal history.  The Mormon church is huge in the genealogy field, and they follow family records for hundreds of thousands families, not only in the church, but outside, as well.

So, for my birthday (next week, 12/18) I thought I would start this challenge. We will start at the beginning, because that's a very good place to start: (I am not including last names, due to the possibility of ID theft, etc.)

Your birth and family:  
*What is your full name and how did you get that name?  Do you have any nicknames?
Wendy Leigh ... My mother had originally planned to name me Michelle Ray (after my birth father, Michael Ray) or Jodi Lynn (cute name). My mother claims that when she saw me, I just looked like a Wendy... plus, the song "Windy" was very popular (a song supposedly about an Australian hooker).

Leigh was after my aunt Gloria Lee.

 My last name at birth was different, but it was changed when I was adopted at the age of four by the only father I ever knew, Eddie.

*What are your parent's full names and birth dates and places?

My mother's name is Cecilia Marie, and she was born in Camp LeJeune, North Carolina. Sept 12, 1950

My birth father is Michael Ray. He was born in Miami, Florida. He was born in 1952.

My mother was 19 when I was born, and my father was only 17. My father was not there for my mother during the pregnancy, and did not come around until I was 5 months old.  At that time my mother told him to take a hike, and was never involved in my life after that.  Not knowing my real father has been an issue for me my whole life. I never pursued trying to find him, feeling that if he did not accept me as an adult would doubly hurt. Through genealogy searches, I believe that he is now deceased. 

*What is the date of your birth?  Where were you born?  What are some of the circumstances (when your mom went in to labor, how long, her doctor, your dad fainting, etc.) of your birth?

I was born on December 18, 1969, at North Miami General Hospital in North Miami, Florida.  (The hospital is now a Johnson and Wales University.)  My mother ate fried chicken, and watched the Tonight Show when she went into labor. Tiny Tim married Miss Vicky on that show. I was born at 8:57 the next morning, by forceps delivery. My mother was sedated for the delivery, which was not uncommon back then. 

*What are your sibling's full names and birth dates? 

I am, technically, an only child. However, my mother did give birth to a baby boy when I was nearly two years old. That baby was given up for adoption. 

*How was your relationship with your siblings and parents?

My relationship with my mother has been tumultuous.  My mother has been an addict of some sort or another my entire life. My entire childhood was shaped by her addictions, from her disappearing for days and leaving me with my father, to having to take on the role of caretaker to her as a teenager.   I love my mother, dearly, but her screwed up life gave me a screwed up life, which I still have to deal with the repercussions of today.

My adoptive father, Eddie, came into our lives when I was about three years old. My mother was working at a convenience store, and Eddie was working as a mechanic at a garage across the street. My mother would take me to work with her, and not realize that I had scampered off on my own to the mechanic shop. So, it was through me that they met. They married when I was four. Their relationship was totally demented. They both were alcoholics, and he was a mean, abusive drunk, but mostly toward my mother. 

At around age 8, my mother had to leave for an extended period to care for my infant cousin, leaving me with Eddie.  During this time, he sexually molested me repeatedly, which I did not tell my mother about until I was nearly 13 years old. Along with this molestation, I was also molested by several other men in North Carolina. These fucked up relationships with men has totally messed up my relationships with men today. 

*What are some lessons you learned from your parents?

Good question. Don't take drugs. Keep your hands to yourself. Treat others as you wish to be treated. Sex is not love, and vice versa. 

*How did you help in your home?  

Well, as a small child, I don't think I did.  I often remember my mother trying to get me to clean up my room. I would shove everything under the bed or in the closet. To fix that, my mother used to put everything on top of my bed, so the only way I could go to bed was to clean it up. 

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