So, friendship is weird. I have never had normal friendships. My friendships have always had this caretaking aspect to them. Like, I take care of, baby, coddle, make myself over-available to my friends. That is a leftover from a very crazy co-dependent childhood to an alcoholic mother.
Well, I guess eventually my friends no longer "need" me, and the friends wander away. I am left feeling abandoned, and confused. But, with age and wisdom, I am learning what the problem is. (see: me)
I have one friend, where there is a particular weirdness to it. Six years ago we were inseparable. Like, to the point that someone accused us of having a non-sexual affair. (Not completely untrue, I suppose.) About a year or so ago, we kind of drifted apart (probably due to the fact that my husband and child were going to be a permanent fixture in my life, and the separation was necessary), and we did not communicate for 16 months. Then, we resumed our friendship, but from a distance.
But the weird thing is whenever we get together, we have a lot of fun. The talking never ends, we laugh like crazy, and it's awesome. Then when we end our time together, and it's like....nothing. No contact except liking things on each others' Facebook pages. Weird.
I guess all I can do is just appreciate this friendship for what it is. Weirdness, and all.
W. :)
I can't believe I haven't followed you :o
ReplyDeleteThat's fixed now :)
I know what you mean. I personally find it terrifying, that prospect that friendships are fluid things that shift and change and may eventually run dry.
But I mean, live in the moment and all that. I got good friends now, and that's all that matters :D
You are forgiven. :)
DeleteWelcome aboard the crazy train.
W. :)