Saturday, March 24, 2012
♫Sing along Saturday!!♫
Oh, Adele. Do you always know exactly how we feel?
So, speaking of making someone feel loved, try this on for size:
A Powerful Three-Step Algorithm for Happiness
Imagine if the key to happiness was to not make yourself feel better, but to make someone else feel better. To make someone else feel loved and appreciated.
And, how do you understand love? How do you express love? What is your Love Language?
I have been perusing the 5 Love Languages website, and it states that most people have a specific Love Language. They are:
1: Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
2: Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.
3: Receiving Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.
4: Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.
5: Physical Touch
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive
I am a #2, with some #3 & #4 thrown into the mix. I would rather spend a great day doing stuff together, maybe get a card once in a while, and if I woke up to dinner cooked, that would be great!
My husband is #5 & #1. Talk about a mismatch! Husbeast is all touchy-touchy and verbal stroking. Not my cuppatea at all.
I am looking forward to getting this book from the library. I want to see how we can learn to give each other what the other needs. You'd think we'd know this by now, being together 20 years, and all that....